here is a little bit about me and my past... *i am 18 and finally moved to the city *long, thin face *unhealthy complexion/pale (in a bad way), blotchy skin, acne still (one giant zit has been on my chin for over half-a-year) *had horrible allergies as a kid and could hardly smell until 16...mainly allergic to trees, pollen, dirt...my mom raised me in the woods despite knowing this:( *i cried a few times a week since i was little (not anymore though cuz i moved out on my own) *i never went a week without being yelled at...and i was a really good kid so it was for no reason *i was teased for being ugly growing up...teeth, hair, complexion,etc *had bad teeth until i got braces *i feel cold very easily and usually my hands feel like ice *ingrown hairs on chin (only a couple) *my mom was a single mom and had a stress problem so she yelled at me all the time and got involved with messed up people and forced them into my life...i'm actually very traumatized and resentful. *what i know of my dad is he is a sociopath, mean, and drug dealer etc...not sure if he ever did drugs...was in jail for years for selling cocaine *i made my own lunches for school since 1st grade usually consisting of crap like yogurt, a juice box that i never drank since i didnt like apple juice or fruit punch...:/ and some fruit and a LOT of candy *i am thin though and only 4'11" *my nails are dry and brittle and seem to grow in layers..i never had fake nails nor went to a salon. *i have wrinkles already and look old for my age by YEARS *droopy, thick eyelids *tend to have clogged ears *get backaches a lot from constant laborious work as a kid with hardly any breaks *i was the only kid i knew who hated Peter Pan because i hated being a kid. *some people i miss for years, but many people i don't develop a strong bond with. *i hate being alone. *have had a fuzzy birthmark on side of my forehead since birth *i always felt like an outcast... I have wondered for a while if i have something wrong with me....like a disease or if my upbringing made me how i am today or...i just have such poor body image...even when i was the exact right weight for my height my mom said stuff like "LET'S go on a diet" to include me in feeling bad as usual. i feel so ugly and old compared to other kids my age...even adults. people tend to mistake me for being much older than i am...:( thanks^^ i also have a tendency to pass out.
Answer
Sorry to hear all this sad memories, I can imagine how you feel.Because of lack of attention,love and care you grew up thingking that you are an outcast and feel differnt from the others...well you are not...and you are not alone in this whole wide world to have this kind of physical and emotional problems... What your having right now is that your body has develope in a way that your nurition, enviroment and upbringing combined has resulted to all these... You develope very low selfesteem because you got no support,love and care...as you said that you are a hardworker since you are a kid..this contibuted also with lack of proper nutition. Well, the best thing is go and have your self check up with a therapist and physician....they might be able to help you clear up. My prayers is with you... Remember you still have the chooice to make a differnce in your life no matter what age you are in now..its not too late yet!Take care.
